Mother's Day. What use is it? Just another Hallmark holiday where there's hell to pay if you miss it. Fortunately, Mother's Day is on a different day in the UK, so I can get away with skipping it and feigning ignorance when my phone rings eight hours later. And extra fortunately, my mother can't read, so she will never know of my evil scheme.

Regardless, it's a big one for Yahoo! Shopping, so here's an ad where you can test best-selling product lines on a fake mother who we called "Mommequin". Dragging an iPod onto her, for example, brings out the kind of disco inferno that you only ever see at weddings after her seventh Asti Spumante. Give her a blender, and she gets a little carried away with the Pina Coladas and someone blows comically on a trombone.

Unfortunately, it turns out my mother can read after all, so I guess my cover is blown.